one step forward…
Life can be an intricate dance. One moment there is progress and joy, and the next, you are shocked by the amount of pain you are experiencing. We’ve all experienced that sensation of moving forward, only to be yanked back to the starting point, like a cruel joke played by an unseen hand.
It starts with a glimmer of hope, a steady step toward the life you imagine. Your heart beats with anticipation, and you believe that this time, things will be different. The past, with all its pain and regrets, seems to be fading into the background. You told your story and didn’t cry; you think you’ve moved past it. You dare to dream again, to believe in yourself, and to trust in the future.
Then, life happens. A single event, an unexpected twist, a series of unfortunate circumstances. Suddenly, you’re pulled back into that abyss of despair, where all the old wounds resurface, and your faith crumbles like a sandcastle at high tide. The anger and frustration rise within you, like a wildfire that consumes everything in its path. The ground beneath your feet crumbles. You plunge back into the depths you thought you’d escaped. The fall is agonizing, and the pain is palpable. It’s as if life is mocking you, laughing at your audacity to dream. Your anger simmers, boiling within like an untamed tempest, a fire that threatens to consume everything you are.
The pain, oh, the pain. It’s a heavy burden that you carry, one that seems to grow with every step backward. You’re haunted by the ghosts of your past, by the moments you thought were behind you. It’s a never-ending cycle, like a cruel joke that life insists on playing, again and again. The past lingers like an unwelcome guest. The old wounds, thought to be healed, rip open, and you’re left gasping for air, drowning in sorrow and despair. You’re trapped in a never-ending loop of agony, and there’s no escape.
Anger becomes your constant companion, a beast you can’t tame. It simmers beneath the surface, waiting for any opportunity to erupt. It’s the natural response to feeling cheated, to the cruel hand that fate has dealt. You rail against the unfairness of it all, and you’re left wondering why you should even try. It’s how you react to the injustice of it all. You curse the universe for its cruelty, for the unending torment it inflicts. You rage against the unfairness of your fate, screaming into the void, but the void doesn’t answer.
What’s perhaps even more frustrating is the lack of answers.
Why does this keep happening? Why can’t I break free from this cycle? Why must I endure this never-ending cycle of pain and despair? Why do my efforts lead to naught?
The questions remain, echoing in the silence, gnawing at your soul. The frustration is maddening, and the answers remain elusive. It’s a relentless loop of pain, anger, and confusion.
These are the moments when you want to scream at the heavens, when you want to shake your fists at the universe for its cruel sense of irony. You want to let the tears flow freely, unburden your heart of the weight it carries, and shout to the world that it’s not fair.
One step forward and twenty steps backward. It’s like walking on a path that leads nowhere, or worse, a path that goes toward a deep, overwhelming sadness. The constant feeling of progress being an illusion can be infuriating.
I’m unsure about the direction of this, I started writing to unburden so I can’t offer any uplifting words, but if you’re feeling like this at the moment, remember you’re not alone.
If you enjoyed reading this, please clap as many times as possible. (By many times, I hope you know I mean 50 times). I would also really like to hear from you so please leave a comment.
