Abba Father
I will wonder when I started to call You that. For the longest time, I knew You as Master. I knew You out of fear and then I wanted to know You because of what I was going to get from You. I had on-and-off moments. In the real sense, I was what Jesus Christ described as lukewarm. I was neither here nor there.
And then I realized that I hated the instability of all of it. I wanted to be fully present. Daddy issues had me in a chokehold. I sought validation outside of You, nothing was satisfying. I dated boys, I wanted to feel loved. I might have felt it for a while, but it was never permanent. At this point, I knew I was chasing shadows so I came back, running to You, and then You did something that left me in awe, something no one expected, You left the 99 and ran to me. Then You embraced me. And I knew at that moment that I was HOME. You called me daughter and I was mystified. Why would You call me daughter even after I left? Why would You run to me even though I left first? Why would You want to hold my hands even though I let go of yours first? I didn’t understand. And then You looked at me and I saw all the love in Your eyes. You wrapped me in Your arms and I knew that there is no place I will rather be. At that moment, I realized that this was a father, daughter relationship. You held my hand and led me back HOME. I want to trust You more, to allow You hold my hands and follow you without knowing where we are going to. To pack up my things just like Abraham and just up and leave to a place that You will show me. No questions asked. To understand that even on days when I do not feel like You are present, You very much are.
I want to trust You more, to allow You hold my hands and follow you without knowing where we are going to. To pack up my things just like Abraham and just up and leave to a place that You will show me. No questions asked. To understand that even on days when I do not feel like You are present, You very much are. I want the intimacy, the best father-daughter relationship.
You are Agbanilagbatan, Asoromatase, Oranmo nise fayati, Jagun Jagun Ode Orun (the great warrior of heaven), Atofarati bi oke (he who defends), Atofokante (the one we can confide in), Olutunu (comforter), Adakedajo, Adunbalo and so much more and while You are all that to me and more on different days, one thing remains, You are FATHER to me every day.
You are consistent, You never have mood swings. When I do really stupid things, I know that I can easily run back to You and You are ever ready to have me back. Your plans for me, always good and perfect, even when I do not understand them, You whisper “Trust me, my baby”. When I feel like all hope is lost, you send me the comforter. I tell people how it’s definitely the way You cater for our needs even before they come for me. You told me You loved me, the first person to say that to me and mean it. Oh, ABBA! How You carry me every time. It is Your consistency for me. No downtimes. There is a lot of us, yet you know me by name, you know everything about me, even things I do not know yet, things I worry about. So you tell me to put my hand on my chest and make a boast to anxiety
“My Father, knows tomorrow and the days to come, so I refuse to be anxious, I refuse to be a slave to fear because my Daddy holds the future.”
And so when Daniel Bentley says Daddy da da, I understand. because indeed you are a GOOD GOOD FATHER.
