a crush or not
been looking for a suitable title for this piece but nothing seems to be coming, so before I overthink putting this out, make do with this totally unrelated title.
unrequited love is funny and weird. but is it unrequited when the other person doesn’t know you are in love with them? to some people this might be painful, because I mean how do you not know I like you when I am calling you big head, isn’t that all the sign you need, and I remember saying I didn’t want your girlfriend to break my head.
I like and I think about you more than I want to. You occupy space in my thoughts and I spend most nights imagining impossible scenarios. I smile when I see you and seven out of ten times when I call you pretending it’s a pressing issue, in all honesty, I just want to hear your voice. I have looked at your toenails and fingernails and yes! you pass the test. Call it a fetish or whatever. I like our arguments and little bickering. The way everyone thinks we hate each other. This feels like the very popular “enemies to lovers trope”. Now I understand why the MCs will rather argue or bicker than not have any reaction from each other.
you do not have my phone number. well, nothing has warranted you to have my number but I wish you’ll ask. for us to continue all those conversations we never finish. or ask me out on another date. unlike what you think about me, I look great in gowns, and heels too but I will rather wear sneakers. I am not a “macho girl”, I am all mushy inside.
I wish you’ll look at me and know that I like you. **no need to hit me up with the if you like a guy, tell him talk, I will rather chew socks dears**. now here is what I think, I think it should hurt that you don’t see me like I see you. it should be heartbreaking that you give other girls your attention and do not spare me a glance. but there are moments I hold dear, the winks, random smiles in between having a conversation with someone else and blown kisses. they might mean nothing to you, to me, they mean the world.
REALITY CHECK. I know a relationship between us will not work out. not because I think you are a bad person but because we are two very different persons. unlike poles attract but I think our case will be different. we might start out with so much fire and end up burning each other. we want very different things and so after imagining all the cute scenarios and smiling at things that I know will never happen, I bring myself back to the present. these feelings are temporary, or maybe they are not.
